Wednesday, November 16, 2011

a nice moment

I had planned a long post today, but I have no time, so it will have to wait.  But I haven't missed a day with this NaBloPoMo thing yet, so I need something.  I thought I would tell you a quick story.

So if you've been around, you know my dad passed away last June, and that my relationship with him was difficult.  I've spent a fair amount of time over the past few months processing anger and confusion and resentment and and and.  If you've been reading along, I've probably bored the crap out of you with it.

But a couple of nights ago I was making myself a V-8 to drink while I was fixing dinner.  My dad used to fix them.  It's sort of like a Virgin Mary, I guess, but we would never have called it that at our house, it was just something to drink.  You pour as much V-8 as you want in a glass, then shake in some worcestershire, and tabasco, and squeeze in some lemon or lime juice.  It seems like there was something to shake into it, too-- probably Lawry's Seasoning Salt, or maybe Lemon Pepper (I skipped that this time).  I was standing there in the kitchen making it and simultaneously being my 7-year-old self, with my dad carefully showing me how to do it. 

And I realized that the good memories, the stuff that he did so well and taught so well, are always with me.  The bad stuff I need to process and work through, but the good stuff is so much a part of me that most of the time I'm not even aware of his influence.  And there are a lot of things like that:  he taught me how to change the oil in my car (which I never do, but I know how!), and how to watch a football game (a down is like a chance, they get four chances to move the ball ten yards...).  He took a baseball once and showed us how to change your grip to throw a curveball or a slider (not that I ever did that, either, but I understand the idea anyway).  He helped my sisters and I pick out cars any time we were buying a new one. 

So, yeah.  The good bits are always with me.


  1. It is very nice to hear that the processing of the hard things doesn't eliminate the good things. And it is important to give our "devils" their due. Even people who have failed us miserably have given us incredible gifts - like how to make good butercream frosting and frost a layer cake... and think of it as fun.

  2. Cheery-O!!! Hi! Nice to see you again. :-) Yes, there are some pretty incredible gifts mixed in there with the pain. I am grateful for that, because I know there are some who don't even have that much.

  3. That healing process is fascinating isn't it? You're doing great.

    And from yesterday, Love and Light to your dear friend and her family from me.

    P.S. Nice job with the Every Day posting!

  4. thanks, Julie! the post-a-day thing is killing me, I don't know how you do it. Or actually, it's not killing me, it's killing you guys because I just post whatever I'm thinking about and they're not very interesting.

  5. Totally moronic and somewhat insulting. If what you are posting weren't interesting, would there be readers? Would there be comments?

    Shouldn't we be the judge of whether the daily posts are interesting?

    Also - consctructivist and essentialist - thank you for a very clear explanation.