Friday, October 27, 2006
A dream (a fictional one, of course, aren't all blog entries fiction?). There is a large park, gorgeous weather, preternaturally green grass and trees, flowers blooming everywhere. People abound, playing frisbee, sitting on the grass, listening to music, working. There are people working, and clearly they like working, because they keep doing it and doing it and feeling very successful about it. There are also people wandering aimlessly, some arm-in-arm with friends, talking and laughing, some really aimless, just wandering. After awhile, you notice something strange about this park. It is bounded on one side by a cliff. THere is no railing, no warning sign, no boundary of any sort-- the bright green grass just suddenly ends and there is air beyond. No one seems worried, though. People play catch right up to the edge, there are even those who are sitting on the edge with their feet dangling over. Occasionally one of the loonies, the ones who are really wandering aimlessly, will make a run for it and dive over, disappearing without a sound. No one seems to notice. You move toward the edge, cautiously at first, but when no one seems at all concerned, you move closer and closer. You see it is quite a long way down. Fascinated, you are pulled toward the edge. It is a long way down. A distance that stops the heart. So far down that you can't quite make out what is at the bottom, there is just a dim blueness below. You pull back from the edge, head reeling, heart pounding at how close you came to pitching head first into oblivion. but still no one notices, no one cares. You wander away, but you can't get your mind off it, that edge is always there. so you creep back, trying not to think about it, trying to remind yourself that the vertigo is all in your head, the ground is steady under your feet, and you sit down and scoot forward until your feet hang over the side. It is stunning, the drop beneath you, but it is real. It is there. There is no explaining it away. And then you wake up.