Wednesday, February 09, 2011


I'm whining today.  If you're not in the mood, you're excused, because Lord knows I don't like to listen to people whine.

My head.  My damn head.  Maybe I should just stop right there and click publish. 

I am so damn tired of the unending headache.  I was doing pretty well last fall-- only two or three headaches a month until mid-December.  But ever since, I've pretty much had a headache.  at first, I was treating them as migraines and taking the migraine meds.  And that works. But when it gets to be three weeks in a row with a daily headache, and then three or four days of feeling good, and then another three weeks.... well, first of all, it sucks.  But secondly, I run out of drugs, and Maxalt is dang expensive.  My insurance will cover 12 a month with a manageable co-pay, but after that, they're about $30 each. 

I only take half of a percocet (2.5 mg) with the maxalt, so my supply of 30 which I got last November is still OK.  but that's another problem.  I do worry, you know.  About taking percocet.  On the positive side, it makes the Maxalt work faster and better, and I've been taking it long enough that there are practically no side effects-- about half an hour after I take it, I start feeling warm and fuzzy inside and think, Oh! the percocet's kicking in.  But it doesn't make me sleepy or affect my judgment or make it so I can't drive.

but you know, it's an addictive drug.  The state where I live is 3rd in the nation for prescription drug abuse, so the pharmacists are suspicious.  and they should be.  It's a huge problem around here.  And the poor physicians who have to deal with it-- as one told me, a big part of the legitimate good they can do in the world is pain relief.  But they can also be sitting ducks for unscrupulous people who put on a good act and then go sell it for $5 or $10 a pill at a bar somewhere. 

When I talk to a doctor and tell them what I take, they practically laugh at me.  2.5 mg per headache (I rarely take more because too much makes me nauseated) is such small change compared to what people with true chronic pain take that it is amusing to them.  but on the other hand, it is an addictive drug.  When I'm feeling good, I have no desire to take it.  It never crosses my mind.  So I think I'm OK.  But when it's been two weeks in a row of daily migraines, it's a little scary.  Do I just want the drugs?  Am I making up the headaches so I can get the warm fuzzy? 

So then I think, maybe I should just tough it out.   Which is where I am right now.  Four days out of the last five, I've had a bad headache.  Migraine? just a headache?  probably just a bad headache, because I haven't thrown up.  One day I took the drugs and they did their usual magic, but the other days, I've just chomped down advil and tylenol and magnesium and lived with it.  Usually by late afternoon it starts backing off. 

(My three guy readers should tune out now).  I'm pretty sure it will get better when I get done with you-know-what.  Last year I had two cycles (Feb and Oct), and so far none this year.  I think I'm getting close.  And when I've gone long enough without a cycle, I start to feel great.  But it sure isn't happening right now.  Right now I just want to slam my head against a brick wall because I think it would feel better than this.  Maybe I should take the drugs.


  1. This is such a problem for all of us with legitimate need for pain medication. Not only do we get people (including our doctors sometimes) looking at us like drug addicts, we start to believe it ourselves.

    Whether it's a migraine or just a really bad headache, you are in pain. There is no reason on earth why you should suffer if there's a medication that helps. You aren't thinking yourself to a headache just so you can take half a pill a day. If you got a bottle of 30 pills in November, and now it's February and you still have some left, you are not an addict.

    It's OK to consider these things. Like with most things, if you had a real problem with this you probably wouldn't be asking these questions. But don't torture yourself just to prove a point. If you need your medication, take it.

  2. thanks, Becky. I don't really worry about it, except when the people at the pharmacy are being snotty, and when it's been many, many days in a row.

    Hope you are feeling good!

  3. Becky is exactly right, take the meds. She explained it much better than I could.
    We have an issue here that is similar, but with Sudafed. You can't just get a decent cold remedy by walking into a grocery store any longer. Thank you so much meth heads.
    Pseudoephedrine is the only thing that works for me and my occasional sinus issues. But I have to be all stealthy and concerned that no one looks at me like I'm cooking shit in my basement. (Not to mention how irritating this is with a cop for a husband.)
    Don't be in pain. And don't worry about being a drug addict. But we might want to look at why you are having these headaches, like you said, around your cycle, and if there are alternatives you can use maybe alternately.