well, it is not going all that well in some ways, but in other ways, it's fine. It is the night before the first paper is due, and that one--although it won't be a work of art-- is going to get done. I project that by about 1:00 a.m. I will have something that is good enough so that I can go to bed, do some last minute editing tomorrow, and turn in on time. But the next one, which is due on Thursday, a mere forty-eight hours after I turn the first one in, is a disaster. But that's not why I thought I would check in briefly. You already knew I would be panicking at this point, and I knew it, too. But what is surprising me is this: the paper I am writing, I like. The reason why it has been so hard to make myself sit down and do this, to just get it done, is because I was so sure I was going to write a bad paper. I was so sure it would be awful. But it's not. I can't guarantee I'll make a good grade on it, of course, no one can do anything about the grade they're going to receive. But I can tell that I will be satisfied with the result. Not as satisfied as I would be if I had given myself more time, but still. This is OK. So if I can dig myself out of the mess I'm in right now, it bodes well for next time. Next time, if I have a little bit of confidence that I can write a good paper, maybe I won't put it off until the last possible second, and I'll have at least a small chance of coming through it with my sanity in better shape.
so. that's all. Don't have time for anything more, honestly. Just thought I'd poke my head up for a minute.
And I, for one, am so glad you did. Sometimes just stepping back and getting that bit of perspective is all it takes. Now, about that second paper, take a deep breath, ask for guidance and inspiration, then... just go!
ReplyDeleteJulie
thanks, Julie! It is funny making this transition-- there probably are two works of literature that are more different than Romeo and Juliet and Kafka's Metamorphosis, but offhand I can't think what they would be. Pretty big switch. :-) I let myself have about a three hour break when I got home and now I'm back at it.
ReplyDeleteHope the mall is treating you well.