Sunday, August 12, 2012

Riffday: the last sardine of summer

The anniversary of my dad's death was at the beginning of the summer.  I almost missed it, because we were traveling that day and were in and out of airports and planes and rental cars.  But that afternoon my sister texted me a picture of her kids grouped around the gravesite-- they had gone for a visit in honor of the day.  There's been a lot of water under the bridge, so to speak, in the year since my dad died.  Lots of processing and thinking and letting go of things, and that picture brought on another round. This weekend I wrote a long, angry post while we were out at the lake, well out of internet range.  My reaction to writing it was so strong I couldn't sit still after I typed it.  Nausea, sweats, chills.  I had no idea I still had that much in me.  But in the end, I decided not to post it.  There's just no point-- without the context of the 49 years of history I had with him, it would have sounded silly.  I guess I just needed to write it.  Rest in peace, Dad.  We both deserve it.

My thesis is coming along.  Not nearly as far as I would like-- I had hoped to have it about half done by the end of July-- but progress is being made.  Part of what's slowing me down is re-reading the book (Ulysses by James Joyce).  Finally, the third time through, I can read it without constantly checking secondary materials to figure out what is going on.  In fact, this time it makes so much sense that I'm having a hard time figuring out why I found it so opaque before.  What can you say about a book that takes three readings to be able to follow?  I still can't decide whether I think it's worth the effort.  But it is turning into a great thesis project.

We had some friends over for dinner tonight and the menu was just one disaster after another-- at least, at some point in the afternoon each part had been a disaster.  But oddly enough, they all turned out great.  Dessert was supposed to be Key Lime pie, because I needed to use up some of these eggs, and Key Lime pie would have required six.  But I came home from the store with Key Lemon juice instead of Key Lime juice.  I didn't even know there was such a thing.  And I would have just made Key Lemon pie, but the bottle doesn't have the recipe on it, and I forgot to get sweetened condensed milk, etc.  It was one of those days.

So I decided to make brownies instead and I found a recipe that used EIGHT eggs.  Because apparently that is the only reason to cook at the moment:  to use up eggs. I managed to get together enough chocolate by combining about a third of a bag of Nestle's semi-sweet chocolate chips, half a bar of Ghirardelli bittersweet chocolate, and a bag of Ghirardelli chocolate chips.  but then I got further into it and realized I didn't have enough sugar.  So I had to substitute powdered sugar.  Whatever.  It must have worked, because the brownies were heavenly.  Almost like a dense chocolate mousse.  And never to be repeated, because there's no way I could reproduce all the little things I had to do to make the recipe work with what I had on hand.  They will just live on in my memory.

Let's see, what else.  It is a bit smoky here, but not too bad.  Although we do have one forest fire not too far away, apparently the smoke is being blown in from out of state.  Some years it gets so bad that by the end of August you can smell smoke inside the house.  But not yet this year.  School starts two weeks from tomorrow for me, and two days after that for MadMax.  We are not looking forward to it.  Or at least, we aren't looking forward to being back on a schedule.  If he were totally honest, I think MadMax would admit to being a little bit excited about starting high school.  and I would admit that I'm really looking forward to the one class I'm taking this fall-- Teaching Young Adult Literature.  But we're still pretending like we wish summer went on forever. 

And wasn't this a wide-ranging post, but I needed to get something up before I got completely out of the habit of posting.  Hope you had a good weekend, and bring it on, Monday.  Oh, and everybody wave at Nell, who is in New Zealand.  She reads here, so if enough of you say hi, maybe she will leave a comment (finally!) and tell us what it's like.


8 comments:

  1. What is Nell doing in NZ? I'm so jealous - that is on the top of my Places I Want to Go list.

    I'd ask for the brownie recipe, but not only can't you repeat it, I would eat the whole pan if I made them and that would not be good.

    I think I opened Ulysses once, looked at it and closed it again. Good luck with the thesis.

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    1. She saved up her money and headed down there with her boyfriend after graduation. They'll be there two more weeks, then they're going to dive on the Great Barrier Reef, and then a week in Fiji. I think. I might not quite have the details straight. But, yes, we are TOTES JELLY (totally jealous), which is my new phrase and fits the situation perfectly. I told her she may have to go back and take us with her in a year or two.

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  2. I am still laughing at "Totes Jelly". And even though I am, and always have been, a voracious reader....I have studiously avoided reading Ulysses. And that avoidance may continue.

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    1. you know, honestly I can't say I recommend it. Unlike other classics which get mentioned in all kinds of pop culture, Ulysses is just sort of out there by itself. It's a bit of a snob thing to be able to say you've read it, but it doesn't really make any difference if you haven't. And I could probably lose my English graduate student decoder ring for saying that. :-) (p.s. you are probably the only person that saw BOTH my uses of TOTES JELLY yesterday)

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  3. HI NELL! HI HI HI!!!!

    Totes jelly - I love it.

    Ulysses - Only read Penelope's chapter and that because I'm a Kate Bush fan. McGill specialized more in old dead dudes when I did my lit degree--there weren't a lot of modern classes.

    Love it when you have a class to really look forward to. Hope there's a good prof.

    And finally - glad you made this parental peace. Even if it was exhausting to do so. :-)

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    1. I think we missed our chance with Nell-- she is off on a road trip to Wellington and has no internet access for the next week. Maybe when she gets back. (and on the last one: thank you. me, too.)

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  4. What, the girl can't page back to see all of us waving like fiends?! (If she's anything like that one of mine, and I kinda know she is, she so freaking doesn't care. But I'm saying "hi Nell" and "hi Mad Max" anyway.)

    Gah, lotta grief and nasty mess-ups going around. It's not just you!!!

    Big love and encouragement for your up-coming school work, both types.

    TOTES JELLY is simply a great phrase.

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    1. well, we will hope. She is not a commenter, but I will pester her about it until I'm so irritating that she gives in. Thinking of you, my friend. :-)

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