Monday, November 22, 2010
I sat down to write a really whiny post about how insecure I feel right now and how I don't think I can do this and what was I thinking... you're bored already, right? But thankfully before I started I clicked around on other people's blogs and decided to try a different spin. Why not think about what I'm grateful for instead? It's Thanksgiving week, it's appropriate. I'll spare you the sweet post about my health and my kids and my staunchly loyal underappreciated spouse and having a roof over my head on a night when a blizzard (literally, according to the National Weather Service) is blowing through town. Even though I am unspeakably grateful for all those things. Nope, I feel tonight that what I need is to be grateful for exactly the things that are making me whine. I'm grateful for the opportunity to be pushed past my perceived limitations. I'm grateful that I've told so many people that I'm doing this that there's no way I can back out now, because if it were just between me and the registrar at UTown, I probably would. I'm grateful that I'm not bored. I'm grateful that there are always mind-blowing things out there to learn, and I get to find out about a few of them. I'm grateful for the frustration that I feel with myself and with my professors when we don't value the same things, because I'm learning how to shut up, get over myself and do what I need to do. I'm grateful that I get to find out (not for the first time, but when you're a perfectionist/control freak like me, it's always new) what it's like not to be particularly good at something, and yet still need to do it. And if you're reading this, I'm grateful for you, too.