Friday, September 05, 2008
Two weeks ago, we were in Seattle to move our daughter into her dorm room for her freshman year of college. It surprised me how emotional I was about it, even though plenty of people had warned me I would be. I knew I would miss her (and I do-- a lot) but I also knew that it was time for her to go. She was/is ready, and very excited about it, too. We'd known practically since she was born that she would be going to college; we want her to be there, and-- well, you know, you don't raise them to stay home. You raise them to go off and do their thing in the world. It was time.
So given all that advance notice, you'd think I'd be prepared and the transition would be smooth sailing. But of course actually going through something is different than preparing for it, no matter how much you prepare. And it's been hard. The first week, almost every day some little thing would set me off. Not that I would totally lose it or become incapacitated by crying or anything like that. I'd just suddenly be overwhelmed by a wave of sadness and grief that would disappear almost as quickly as it arrived. This week has been better, but I've still had a couple of those moments. It's not so much that I miss having her here (though I do) as the ending of an era. She will never be under our care in the same way she was up until two weeks ago. We have a number of friends whose older kids require plenty of parenting, so I know we're not done, but it won't be the same as it was having her home and under 18.
So enough going on and on. I hope this doesn't sound like whining, because she's having a blast and I'm happy for her, and I get to go visit her in a couple of months. It's just what I've been thinking about the past couple of weeks.